Thursday, April 17, 2014

Chapter three: Chaos

It's not that I'm scared of dying. I'm just terribly scared of people leaving.

I don't know how to put this anymore. I have deleted more words than the ones I've retained. There are no more coherence to this train of contemplation. The way ahead is not just blurry, but on the verge of demise, gnawed upon by the monsters I created.

It's madness isn't it? That the very same suicidal person fears death. The very same creature inhabiting the darkness is afraid of the devils.

Time is another monster. Cunning, self-possessed, deceitful - a friend to the young, an enemy to the old. I heard it screaming profanities on me. It's on me. And I cannot persuade it to be kind, or beg even for an ounce of mercy.

The days are counted. The Earth bleeding. One by one the stars are dying. The scarlet sky weeping.

Where do we go from now? Where are we headed?


Chapter one: Grief

"I know no more of words that would suffice to imprint the deep sorrow I have now. My very inside was pierced, twisted in agonizing grip. I searched for reprieve but none came except endless fear." 

Chapter two: Fear

"I am terrified. I am terrified of myself. I am terrified of what will come. I am terrified of making another decision because it could be another mistake." 

2 reaction(s):

kalansaycollector said...

hang in there! okay?


rudeboy said...

It's not that suicides don't fear death.
It's just that they wish to run away from something greater. Like life.

Also, you need a drink.

And some drugs.

And maybe sex.


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