I guess 2013 was an "okay" year for me.
I came to that conclusion after several days of attempting to write something for the year that was, an ode perhaps, a monumental piece that would attest to the world that I was able to live beyond all those promises of doom set before that year. But as I try to sharpen my recollection, I found myself struggling to find words, even pictures that would jumpstart the whole thing.
I remember I'm only good at expressing myself when I'm in pain, or when sadness and depression are biting me whole. And of course, when I'm in love. So I thought, that's probably the reason why I'm having such a hard time writing for 2013. I was neither in pain, nor sad and depressed. The whole year was "okay." That's it.
But how about love?
For the past years, many would agree if I say that I've been obsessing with the idea of me being in love. This whole blog is a breathing testament to that. And from that sprang another obsession of mine: being broken hearted.
This 2013, all of a sudden, without realizing, it just came to me that I was no longer in those obsessions. But it's not like I didn't care at all. Although I'm afraid to admit it, this, I'm afraid, is maturity finally kicking in.
Because even if it was indeed a blur, the year was far from easy. Our family was victimized by Habagat back in August. The promotion promised by the management did not come. The competition I worked hard for last September was still one of my biggest disappointments and shame. Some relatives died. I got robbed (although I was lucky enough to get my valuables back). I witnessed more deaths and sufferings. And of course, I'm still single.
I'm sure all these bad things that happened took a blow on me, although I can't remember anymore how exactly I felt about them. And I can honestly say that from time to time, solitude still brings me intense longing, even frustration. But 2013 was the year that made the difference in terms of my dealings, my reactions navigating to those key points of my life.
That's why 2013, for me, is more of a transition. Nothing exceptional, but all the same just as important as any year.
I will always remember fondly how I enjoyed surfing in La Union, how my friends and I got lost in the mountains with no food and water, the midterm elections, and all the basketball games I covered throughout the year. There was also my 26th birthday, a simple renewal of my mission in this world. And of course, the different people I've met, those who turned friends, even foes, all of them who brought such incredible lessons I'll try to never forget.
So there we were, in an upscale bar somewhere in the south of the metropolis, high atop a glass building, taking swigs of alcohol to the beat of the deafening thumpa thumpa punctuated with yells and shrills of laughter echoing from all corners days before the start of the new year. I watched my friends enjoying the dance floor, friends of almost a decade who are just as crazy as ever, living reminders that good or bad, just okay or exceptional, every year can be a fantastic one if you have people who will stand with you no matter what.
To a new year!