Thursday, August 5, 2010

lonely housewife

tick tock...tick tock... I

i was frantically drumming my fingers over a pile of books. i tried reading them but can't make sense even a single word of them. i went for a walk, hoping to bump with some acquaintance to ease the waiting, but i reached the other building yet no one came. or it might be that my mind is still wandering somewhere. and so i failed to hear people calling my name, or felt their pinches on my left arm.

I  tick tock...tick tock... I

i went back on my table. i tidied it up a bit. i arranged my books. thew away unnecessary papers. i shifted on my seat. stared at the tv monitor [can't head nor tail what it's saying]. i turned to the computer, but there's no internet connection [it's always like that].

I  tick tock...tick tock... I

after a huge yawn, without checking my phone, i packed my things. swiped my access badge then begun trailing an almost 10 minute walk to the bus stop. before that, i checked my wallet and count the paper bills in it, but no luck. they weren't enough for me to hail a cab. sooner, i was like awakened only to find myself in the middle of north luzon expressway, sitting on the last row of a non-air conditioned bus. after a minute [or so i think], i called the attention of the bus conductor, told him am alighting over the next stop. 

I  tick tock...tick tock... I

at home, i went straight to my room to drop my things, then, picked up the towel for a trip to the bathroom. i stripped down and left nothing. i let the water drown me temporarily. satisfied, i dried myself up. later, i grabbed a freshly laundered boxer shorts and a sando from the drawer, then head straight to the dining table. i ate quietly. when finished, i left the dishes at the sink then proceeded to brush my teeth and for a gargle of mouthwash. 

I  tick tock...tick tock... I

after killing the lights, i climbed on my bed. for the first time since at work, i checked my phone and i felt a small trickling on my stomach. i laid it down on my bedside table. in the name of the father, and of the son and of the holy spirit - and with that, i cover myself up with a blanket, a pillow covering my face. i fell asleep. 

I  tick tock...tick tock... I

And again it is night.
At day, I wish for night to come.
That I would finally get to dream, 
rest my head, be free to flee.

But never did I know
of the frail sound of mellow
of solitude
that's now consuming me.

I wish for the morning to once again dawn.
A chance to redeem 
my lonely broken soul.


"Carry me, like you were my brother. Love me like a mother. Will you be there?"
-from the song Will You Be There by Michael Jackson

11 reaction(s):

Alterjon said...

me likey the title.

we were caught in a loop of days repeating all by themselves you can almost predict what's going to happen tomorrow. how I yearn that something unsusual happens, even if that means tomorrow, Jollibee would waltz with me.

Nicos said...

hhhhhmmm...come here...let me hug you. tight...:)

my-so-called-Quest said...

hmmmm... anong ngyari?
wag masyado magisip. magiging oks din ang lahat. smile! :D

Mu[g]en said...

For we are the architects of our own liberation. :)

Guyrony said...

In order for happiness to come from within, one must understand the meaning of solitude.

Désolé Boy said...

@guyrony<<but don't you think its quite hard when you've already spent 23 years of solitude? am trying. but am failing again =(

soltero said...

you made your otherwise mundane day into an interesting read...i like! :)

Yas Jayson said...

One day we will find meaning to these routines. I wish it will be soon for you.

I have been following your blog but this is the first time I left a comment because this one makes me feel and realize the meaning behind your name. Desole. I love and hate that french at the same time.

This dryness, this meaninglessness, this emptiness, too shall pass. I wish you luck.


OY said...

hey DB.

Have you seen the clip How to be Alone on youtube? I first saw it in Drew's blog (a certain callousness)
Pasok sa banga ang poem ni tanya davis

Désolé Boy said...

@yas jayson<<thank you so much.

@OY<<not yet..i'll try checking it out later..ancient ang PC na gamit ko ngaun eh

@EVERYONE<<thanks for droppin' by..di ko na kau isa-isahin..saka na. pag maayos na yung lappy ko. i love u all.

JP said...

aw hugs! :)

smile na. hindi ka nag-iisa sa ganyang kalagayan kuya. ;)


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