Monday, June 28, 2010


I remember the time when I view life [and love] as blue skies and all butterflies. That was before the little monsters took away my innocence. Now, I've grown to become the world's topmost pessimist, the world's most skilled liar and the greatest pretender that ever lived.

Pessimism, as negative sounding though it might appear, has become both a target of criticism and a blanket of comfort of mine. It fends off the chances of me getting hurt. if not all, at least most of them. With pessimism, I always expect for the worst. I always wait for failure and doom. And so when things turned out positively, am all glad and thankful. If not, then it's fine. It is what I expected anyway.

I lie. I always lie. and as I've said previously, I'm very good at it. I can muster a long and arduous story about something, with every minutest detail of it, and the person listening would totally buy it without thinking. This, one of the seven capital sins, I abuse most. And again, the one I am best at!

Being a liar is hard. You always have to remain sharp and calm, especially on times that you're caught red-handed. And brave if there's no way you can get out of the mess you've got into. to come out of it and still with your head held high, it doesn't take a lot of time for me, mastering the skill. I was born with the talent.

Brother to lying is pretending. It is what comes next if you're good at lying. Becoming the greatest pretender. It's like I have this walk in closet of different masks I wear depending on the occasion. Maybe that's why I'm good at acting. Know what? Modesty aside, I think am better than them screen and theater actors. To them, its just a job. Their hobby or some pseudo-artist may claim it as their passion. But to me, it is my way of life. It is how I live my life, taking in different persona. Pretending.

When the time comes for me to meet Satan, you'd probably expect him to congratulate me. Or give some certificate of recognition or probably a crown with sash.

Guess what?

I actually met him a while ago. Yeah, the one and only Satan.

And this is what happened.

I was walking a narrow road going to a friend's house at 2 o' clock on the afternoon when all of a sudden, Satan appeared out of nowhere and greeted me. I was like, what the hell Satan? Do you know what time it is?

I was shocked, not only because he appeared out of nowhere but also because it is afternoon and the sun was still up.

i thought you only come out during night?, i fired the question.

but the most shocking of all, is that he totally ignored what i was saying. he walked straight in front me and guess what he did?

The son of a bitch slapped me on my face! pak!

I was speechless. I didn't know what to do. I don't know what's more shocking, the fact that I was slapped on my face or the fact that Satan himself slapped me.

As I gaze at his hooded face. with mouth wide open, he started ranting on me.

"Who the hell do you think you are Desole Boy? What the fuck do you think yah doin'? Yah think yah're better than meh, huh? Who the devil yah are tryin' to compete with? Well here's a thang motherfucker..yah ain't somethin'....yah ain't someone and yow just a fake brown assed monkey tryin' to be cool. Yah're burned, d'ya know that? [this time, he pushed me on the chest] Yah're burned! Dy'yah get that? Am warnin' you Desole Boy. I don't give a goddamn fuck who y'are! But if yah aint stoppin,' I'll whip yah grandmother's ass and she aint gonna love it man. She ain't gonna love it! Mah eyes are on you, fucker! Mah eyes are on you!"

And before I could summon the courage to retaliate and probably kick his balls, he's gone. The devil is gone.

There I was, at the middle of that narrow road at 2 in the afternoon, standing still. Confused. Ashamed. Afraid. Totally at lost.

As the encounter with Satan begun sinking in, I felt anger. With whom? I didn't know. And just exactly at that moment when I was trying to contemplate on whom to get angry with, Jesus appeared out of nowhere like Satan did.

And before Jesus could say anything, I yelled at him.

This time, all of a sudden, the sky went all dark and thunder started roaring. rain pounded on my head with such increasing tempo.

"What the hell Jesus? Do you also came here to slap me in the face? Just leave me alone! Both of you! Go away!

And with that, I ran away crying and left Jesus at the middle of that narrow road, mouth open and very confuse, soaking under the rain...


"I cannot well repeat how there I entered, 
 So full was I of slumber at the moment
 In which I had abandoned the true way. "
 -Canto I, The Divine Comedy - Inferno
by Dante Alighieri

Sunday, June 27, 2010

SUNDAY Piece 005: Picking Up

"A bend in the road is not the end of the road...unless you fail to make the turn."

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Next Subject: Sex Ed

As anyone would expect, it is the perpetual battle of modernists and the so-called moralists mounting in every pulpit, would greet daily news followers with the Department of Education’s attempt to resurface the introduction of sex education among grade schools.

In a prudish country we’re in, where handing out condoms on a Valentine’s Day is considered a heinous crime, sex should be the last word in your vocabulary.

But in the same country where Jen, a 14 year old mother who tried his luck in a TV gameshow to cough up a few bucks in support of her infant, screams for the need for the youth to be armed with right information on sex is just too loud to ignore.

However, I do not support the idea of discussing sex matters within the four walls of crammed public school classrooms with 4th grader and 5th grader in it. No, I am not belittling the mental capacity of my fellow youth on digesting this very huge subject. And I am very well informed of the fact that the curriculum doesn’t begin with an introduction to Kama Sutra or the likes, as the admirable Patricia Evangelista so eloquently pointed out in her column. No. I think there is still that missing necessary piece of introductory course that is not yet taken and therefore must come first before Teacher Mel talk about the bees and the flowers in her class, if you know what I mean.

It is the handling of people at home regarding sex matters that bother me more. I think it’s about time we abandon the speaking in elaborately formulated metaphors or worse tight lipped approach in dealing with sex. We must begin admitting the fact that in the midst of all these modernization is a sub-urb family that shuns away talks when it reaches the topic of sex. It’s about time for sex to be a topic at every home. It’s about time we confront sex heads up (no pun intended).

Parents, or should we say people at home, should be the one to be educated first in matters of subjects adjacent to sex itself. You cannot expect children to grasp everything at school without the back support of their respective guardians. Education begins at home, and if those at home (the elders) will continue to view sex as a mere perversion, then there’s the problem where people in it should be the one to be informed first.

It’s so ironic how the same prudish country that colonized us for 300 years has moved forward from their tight Victorian Era yet we remained stagnant in this way of thinking they brought us.  Sex is as natural as having the desire to sleep. Sex is everywhere. Our dances, novels, even children stories, TV Ads and even the Bible itself. It is our way of understanding and viewing it that must be reformed. That way, we can be responsible enough to teach this young generation of matters about sex without turning all red-faced or portraying it as something disgusting or worse demonic.

If only Jen wasn’t burned by her curiosity. If only there are open minded people that could’ve explained sex to her in a way that she can weigh for herself both ends of spectrum, she might be enjoying herself in a classroom right now being fed with information, instead remaining unknowing, not sure what to tell when the time comes that her daughter get curious on the same subject she’s once curious about.

Monday, June 21, 2010

The Race

Let me tell you a story. 

You might think you know the story but there's something to the story that you might not know of.  I don't know.  Just read and let me know if you knew.

The Tortoise and the Hare decided to go on a race, right?  For whatever silly reasons animals decide to go on a race.  Quite a few animals got excited, wanting to see who would actually win, so they gathered around to watch.

One of the other animals called out the countdown and at 3, both the Hare and the Tortoise ran as fast as they could. 

Naturally, the Hare had run so far that he could not see the Tortoise behind him.  And that sudden outburst of energy had tired him a bit so he decided to take a rest.  He went to the side and fell fast asleep.

The Tortoise continued to trudge on.  He ran and ran and ran and, though it was slow, he eventually passed the sleeping Hare and almost reached the finish line when the Hare woke up, panicked and began his run but it was too late.  The Tortoise had crossed the finish line and had won the race.

We know that story, right?  We heard it since we were kids.

But here's the thing.  Here's the little secret that they never told anyone.

The Hare wasn't asleep.  Yes, he stopped running, found a nice warm patch of soft grass and lay down but he wasn't asleep.  He just pretended to sleep.

Yup, he pretended to sleep.

The Hare didn't want to win.  He just wanted to race with the Tortoise.  They were almost side-by-side by the finish line but he let the Tortoise win. 

He didn't need to race, he knew he was faster.  The race proved nothing.  The Hare just wanted to be in the race with the Tortoise.

Do you know this story now?

This is a repost from somewhere I couldn't remember anymore. Let me know if it is from you.

Friday, June 18, 2010


"In the beginning there was nothing. God said "Let there be light" and there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better."

I am very sorry.

In solitude, let me conquer myself by swallowing in forgiveness, as I am not used to hurting others. You see, it's always me that has to deal with the pain of being hurt.

been having some technical glitches  here in my blog due to to my stupidity. apologies again.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

SUNDAY Piece 004: For the love of us

"Intense love does not measure. It just gives."
-Mother Theresa of Calcutta

I got a bit emotional yesterday after watching Direk Dante Mendoza's new flick, "Lola" and guilty at the same time of my own crimes against my old folks. As anyone would expect, it is legitimately another masterpiece from the same man who brought so much prestige to our country in the art of film making. Too bad the film won't be shown in mainstream cinemas but rather in a very few select theaters and special venues. As soon as I am informed of the schedules, I would gladly share it with you guys so you can catch it was well if you find some time to fit it in your skeds.

Anyway, here's a story about love which I hope will inspire you the same way it did to me. Have a great Sunday people!

A story is told about a soldier who was finally coming home after having fought in Vietnam. He called his parents from San Francisco.

"Mom and Dad, I'm coming home, but I've a favor to ask. I have a friend I'd like to bring home with me."

"Sure," they replied, "we'd love to meet him."

"There's something you should know the son continued, "he was hurt pretty badly in the fighting. He stepped on a land mind and lost an arm and a leg. He has nowhere else to go, and I want him to come live with us."

"I'm sorry to hear that, son. Maybe we can help him find somewhere to live."

"No, Mom and Dad, I want him to live with us."

"Son," said the father, "you don't know what you're asking. Someone with such a handicap would be a terrible burden on us. We have our own lives to live, and we can't let something like this interfere with our lives. I think you should just come home and forget about this guy. He'll find a way to live on his own."

At that point, the son hung up the phone. The parents heard nothing more from him. A few days later, however, they received a call from the San Francisco police. Their son had died after falling from a building, they were told. The police believed it was suicide. The grief-stricken parents flew to San Francisco and were taken to the city morgue to identify the body of their son. They recognized him, but to their horror they also discovered something they didn't know, their son had only one arm and one leg.

The parents in this story are like many of us. We find it easy to love those who are good-looking or fun to have around, but we don't like people who inconvenience us or make us feel uncomfortable. We would rather stay away from people who aren't as healthy, beautiful, or smart as we are. Thankfully, there's someone who won't treat us that way. Someone who loves us with an unconditional love that welcomes us into the forever family, regardless of how messed up we are.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Sa Bayan Kong Magdiriwang ng Kaniyang Kalayaan

My apologies on digressing from my usual entries here. I was tasked to do an Independence Day piece so I hope you'll allow me to share even a shorter version of it here. Thank you and Happy Independence Day!

Lumuha ka, aking Bayan; buong lungkot mong iluha
Ang kawawang kapalaran ng lupain mong kawawa:
Ang bandilang sagisag mo'y lukob ng dayong bandila,
Pati wikang minana mo'y busabos ng ibang wika, 

nagsa-submit ako nun ng application form sa PUP para makakuha ng entrance exam ng una ko silang makita. may mga dala-dalang placards. pintado ng kulay pulang pintura ang mga salitang buong tapang na umaalingawngaw, minumura ang sinumang mapapadaan at babasa. magkahalong mga babae't lalaki. mga nakatsinelas, may punit sa mga pantalon, radikal na pananamit. nagtatawag sila ng walk-out sa klase. taas kamaong nag-aanyaya ng pakikilahok. nawirduhan ako. natakot. nalibang din sa huli.

mababaw ang naging unang pananaw ko sa kanila. sila yung mga absent lagi sa klase. sila yung mga wala ng nasabing maganda laban sa mga opisyal ng pamantasan. lahat tinututulan. lahat may katapat na argumento. sabi ko, sila yung mga balang araw eh mamumundok, lalaban sa gobyerno. magiging pasakit. batik ng bansang lugmok na sa sinisismo.

salamat sa apat na taong inilagi ko sa pamantasang iyon, nahugasan kahit paano ang kaisipan kong balot ng pagkukunwari, kawalang-kapakialaman at kolonyalismo. unti-unti, naging katulad nila 'ko. silang mga nagtataas ng bandilang pula. silang umalohokan ng kamalian at kawalang-galang. sa bawat letra sa 'king papel, nabuhay ang init ng mga taong nagsama-sama noon sa Mendiola upang ilaban ang kanilang karapatan sa kapirasong lupang dinilig ng pinagsama-sama nilang dugo at pawis. binuhay sa mga awit ang mga paalalang sa bansang ang tuon ay nasa ihahaing pagkain sa kumakalam na tiyan, naroon ang ilang taong tahimik na sinusugpo ang pangkalahatang kagutuman. namasdan ko ang paglipad ng mga munting papel sa Paseo de Roxas, bumabasbas sa kapwa ko kabataang naghahanap ng kinabukasan, hindi sa mga pook pasyalan kundi sa lansangan.

Lumuha ka, habang sila ay palalong nagdiriwang,
Sa libingan ng maliit, ang malaki'y may libangan;
Katulad mo ay si Huli, naaliping bayad-utang,
Katulad mo ay si Sisa, binaliw ng kahirapan; 

sa kasalukuyang buwan ng pag-alala sa kasarinlan ng bansa, ang gobyerno daw ni Ginang Arroyo ay gagasta ng sampung milyong piso para sa ikagaganda ng pagdiriwang. napakalaking halaga para ilaan sa pagdiriwang ng kalayaang huwad. sa kalayaang pawang iilan ang nagtatamasa. sa kalayaang tila pangarap na lang sa karamihan.

kung malaya nga tayo, bakit kamakailan lang ay bigo ang kongresong mapagtibay ang Freedom of Information Bill dahil lamang sa kakulangan ng mga Konggresistang dumalo ng sesyon?
kung malaya nga tayo, bakit may mga bakla't tomboy na tinatanggal sa trabaho, tinatanggihan ng ibang paaralan at establisyimento habang patuloy na nililibak ng lipunan dahil sa kanilang kasarian?
kung malaya nga tayo, bakit hindi matapos tapos ang tunggalian ng relihiyon sa Mindanao? digmaang Pilipino laban sa kapwa Pilipino. kapatid sa kapatid. laman sa laman.

malaya nga ba tayo? may kalayaan bang talaga? nasaan na? papaano ba?

May araw ding ang luha moy masasaid, matutuyo,
May araw ding di na luha sa mata mong namumugto
Ang dadaloy, kundi apoy, at apoy na kulay dugo,
Samantalang ang dugo mo ay aserong kumukulo;
Sisigaw kang buong giting sa liyab ng libong sulo
At ang lumang tanikalay lalagutin mo ng punglo!

walang ganap na kalayaan. pero meron. gaya ngayon. malaya kong naisusulat ang pag-iyak ng aking mga letra. malaya akong ipabasa sa 'yo ang opinyon ko. isa tayong bansang may sariling pangalan. markadong teritoryo. may sariling pagkakakilanlan.

pero alipin pa rin tayo ng makabanyagang kaisipan. alipin ng kapwa Pilipino. alipin ng pagkamakasarili. alipin ng kani-kaniyang suliranin sa buhay. alipin ng kahirapan.

ang kalayaan ay patuloy na laban. hindi ito nagtapos noong iwinigayway ni Heneral Aguinaldo ang ating bandila sa Kawit. hindi rin sa pagwawakas ng ikalawang digmaang pandaigdig. lalong hindi sa pagpapatalsik kay Marcos sa pamamagitan ng People Power 1, at kay Erap sa tinatawag na EDSA Dos. higit sa lahat, hindi ngayong pagtatapos ng siyam na taong panunungkulan ni Gloria Arroyo.

patuloy sana ang laban. sa gitna ng hindi ganap na kalayaan, naroon ang mga mumunting layang pwede namang gawing sandata sa walang hanggang digmaang ito. maaaring sa lansangan, mga kabundukan, maging sa mga tanghalan. o dito sa gitna ng makabagong teknolohiyang atin nang ginagalawan.

sa ika-labindalawa ng Hunyo, marapat lamang na ipagdiwang natin ang tagumpay ng ating mga ninunong nagbuwis ng buhay para sa mumunting kalayaang ating tinatamasa sa ngayon. pasasalamat sa kanilang kabayanihang nagdulot ng samu't-saring damdaming pinupugon parin ng karamihan. at sa gitna nito, nawa'y ating magunita ang kanilang ini-atang na tungkulin. na ipagpatuloy ang laban. tuloy sa pagpapaalab ng sulo ng pagkamakabansa.

naniniwala parin akong may magagawa pa tayo. at habang may mga taong gaya mo at gaya ko, na patuloy na nangangarap...hindi napapagod sa tunggaliang ito ng katawan at isip. mararating din natin balang araw...ang pinangarap nating Pilipinas.

[Ang mga taludtod ng tula ay hinalaw sa "Kung Tuyo Na Ang Luha Mo, Aking Bayan" ni Pambansang Alagad ng Sining sa Panitikan Amado V. Hernandez]

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Party and Partey

in the words of one of my musical influence, the great Freddie Mercury: "I just gotta get out of this prison cell, one day am goin' to be free, Lord."


jaunting one blog after another, reading stuff of numerous storytellers as they recount the latest happenings of their fabulous gay life, made me feel left out and envious.

tales of dark room escapades and the flamboyant display of 'male bonding' in the middle of the sea of half naked men inside Malate's bluebars create a tingling stir around my groin.

di pa ko nakarating sa Malate. that certain strip full of clubs that cater to us men who seek our own kind has always been a stranger to me. always my curiosity. ni hindi ko nga alam kung pa'no pumunta dun eh. but i am always reminded of this passage in Louie Mar's book Orosa-Nakpil Malate:
"Kapag bading ka at hindi ka pa nakakatuntong ng Orosa-Nakpil, hindi pa ganap ang pagiging bakla mo."
judging from that statement, hindi pa pala ganap ang pagkabading ko.

considered by many, it is home to every gay man living within the perimeter of the metropolis...or probably the entire mega manila. the gay Mecca, except for holy week that is Puerto Gaylera.

gustong-gusto kong makapunta dun just to see how people like me connect with one another, in a place [they say] away from the prying eyes of prudish people stuck in their own Victorian Era. although, some may argue that Malate is getting lesser in its claim as the core of gay partyphiles now that there's Farenheit, Palawan Bars, Government etc. away from that corner of Orosa-Nakpil, to our predecessors,  Malate will always be the Liberty Avenue of this third world!

i want to feel that gay thumpa thumpa am seeing from Queer as Folk. i said before as i watch the series, never that those wild scenarios would be a reality here. i guess i am mistaken [base sa mga kwento ninyo, fellow bloggers] drugs, sex orgies, promiscuity...it is here. the glitter of them is just so enticing to ignore.

but don't get me wrong! it's not that am too much of a dork to party all night, heavily drunk with a mind too high to drive home. no. i party at clubs and bars. and like you, dances my heart out at the middle of the dance floor [and ledge] till my stamina would permit me. pero dun lang around Eastwood. sa Metrowalk. sa The Fort. dati sa Embassy. sa Guilly's at White Avenue na malapit sa ABS-CBN. 'straight' scene. 'straight' bars. clubs where i would hang out with my girl friends and few buddies. dancing and flirting with girls while eyeing the hot guy next to me in my most discreet technique so as not to alarm him.

i have gay friends. but the closests to me are as naive and inexperienced as me in gay parties. we would often talk about it, trying to hatch a plan when we would finally break thru the walls of 'straight scene' to party with people like us. but then we managed to survive university life, landed in the professional world and still nothing happens.

why am i dying to experience this?

for one, i want to meet people who are certain of their sexuality. my notion is that for someone to be out there partyin' at Malate, that person already admits to himself his real identity, waving it proudly on his sleeves.

second is of course the pleasure of it. there can be no higher satisfaction than partying in a place that you're very comfortable in. and besides, it should be fun dancing with your fellows coz admit it guys, we are waaaay better dancer than them straights, no?

third reason would be that three letter monosyllabic word -sex. orgies, darkrooms..name it. i said to myself, i am going to experience all these [and them].

not that am about to be as promiscuous and careless as the next guy. no. i still know my limitations and i think i already know how to take care of myself. [errr, i think so]

its just that, i am afraid to get old with all the regrets, living an aged life full of fantasies of 'what-ifs.' i mean, we are only young as the next day comes and i want to enjoy my youth to its fullness at the same time being responsible and cautious of what lies ahead in the future.

we all know how curiosity killed the meowing cat and damn if i'd be killed, i just knew i have to take a glimpse of how nightlife is goin' on at that other side of the Metro. maybe i need to join a certain group of friends who frequently patrol the streets of Malate? or probably just drag my entire barkada to take an educational trip there? or just take the plunge alone and discover its secret myself!

am sure that one day i can muster that courage, pull out my hottest shirt and pants from the closet, put on my dancing shoes and who knows, i might be the next guy you'll bump into the next weekend you're out there partyin'.


Sunday, June 6, 2010

SUNDAY Piece 003: No more pain

"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love."
 -Mother Theresa of Calcutta

Friday, June 4, 2010

blow your candles baby bro

"California sunlight - sweet Calcutta rain - Honolulu starbright - the song remains the same."
-Led Zeppelin

today is little bro's birthday. but due to many complications on his part, we celebrated it earlier yesterday.

i'm actually not aware of his birth date, but thanks to Facebook notifications, i am informed Wednesday morning and so i immediately planned something special for him.

first on the list: gift. sobrang hirap pumili ng gift. this has been a constant challenge for me, probably because i always wanted people to be pleased. or maybe my natural fickle mind is always at work, that's why. tapos may raket pa ko till 6pm sa ABS-CBN so san naman ako dun hahanap ng pwedeng i-regalo, di ba? sa totoo lang, tumingin din ako ng pwedeng bilin sa Studio Tours pero nakornihan ako kasi puro ABS-CBN memorabilia ang nandun. payong, bag, mugs, ballpen, t-shirt and jacket. lahat may logo ng ABS-CBN. naisip ko magmumukha siyang TFC subscriber pag yun ang binigay ko.

good thing his review class was extended to 7pm so I managed to stroll around Grand Central Mall in great hurry. i grabbed the cutest mail man's bag from Bench and have it wrapped in a nearby gift store. bakit Bench? pansin ko lang na mahilig 'tong si Baby Bro sa Bench. cologne, shirt, pants, hankies...ewan ko lang sa undies ha. lahat talaga puro Bench.

anyway, we met exactly 7pm at Victory Liner Bus Terminal since ang alam nya eh sabay lang kami uuwi ng Bulacan. there he was, already in line for the ride. i approached him, hug him and greet him Happy Birthday. his reactions when i handed him my gift while telling him am taking him out for dinner were precious! gulat na gulat ang loko. 

adik ka talaga, ba't me gan'to pa! paulit-ulit nyang sinasabi yan kahit sakay na kame ng taxi papuntang Greenbelt.

bakit sa Greenbelt pa? college pa kasi ko nung huling napunta ko sa Greenbelt and nabanggit din nya saken na 2nd year college pa din sya nung last na napunta siya dun. so from Caloocan, dinayo talaga namen ang Greenbelt.

the long ride was worth it. we both look like innocent kids in a newly built playground. everything just seem to fall in their right places. astig ng view! yan ang pareho naming nasabi.

first, we dropped by at the chapel for a short prayer, then went straight to this restaurant called Myron's Place. nag-iinarte pa nung una 'tong si little bro at mahal daw dun, okay na daw siya sa McDonalds. pumayag din naman in the end. ang arte ba?

and so we enjoyed the food while talking about NBA and how I won the bet courtesy of Kobe and the rest of the Lakers bunch (pero aminin nyo, si Kobe talaga ang nagpanalo..hehe)

as we wander around the area, the conversation continues with his hands on my shoulders. this time, i felt it was different. we talked about so many serious stuffs. our respective family situations and dramas, dreams...even frustrations. love failures, of course. we even discovered that we're both victims of sexual harassment during college. words float in a different trance. and at that moment, we knew...

that we can't be more than anything beyond this. that doing so would just ruin all these beautiful things we're currently sharing. the knowing is now mutual. parameters already set. this is the night of confirmation for both of us.

a concrete affirmation that i earned myself an adorable loving baby brother. and him, a supportive understanding big bro. solid. certain. definite. final.

as i greet him again via phone call exactly 12 midnight, he thanked me for the present and everything i did for his birthday. his last words were simple yet still making my heart swell up to now, containing that exact word summing up all these...

"thanks kuya."

[sa mga medyo nasusuya na sa posts ko about Francis pasensya na po..hehe..cut me (and him) some slack here guys..birthday naman nya eh..hehe..peace!]

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